Watch these kids try not to eat a marshmallow

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Derailed Road Trip Conversation

10:53pmJack
wow
you already promised you would go

10:54pmMike
no I didn't
my mom probably wouldn't let me

10:54pmJack
remember?

10:54pmMike
I don't make promises
I BREAK THEM

10:54pmJack
you said "I will definitely go on this trip no matter what"
your mother loves me
she would totally let you go

10:58pmMike
she has never met you
probably thinks you are a trouble maker
who would rob the shoes off of my feet if given the chance

10:59pmJack
I think I may have actually met her once when she was helping you move stuff in?
regardless she knows OF me

10:59pmMike
maybe
how do you know I ever say anything about you
I could suppress info

11:00pmJack
my parents ask me questions about you sometimes

11:00pmMike
like if I roll drugs

11:00pmJack
they'll be like "so do you still see Mike Petrie a lot?"

11:00pmMike
get arrested

11:00pmJack
boring stuff like that
and I'll be like
yeah we snort crack every weekend together
and they'll be like "i knew he was a troublemaker"

11:01pmMike
pile as high as the ceiling

11:04pmMike
I told my parents that you don't speak english
and that you are a columbian drug lord
selling to students

11:04pmJack
soy un mercandero de drogas

11:05pmMike
then they don't ask about you

11:06pmJack
i bet your parents love me. Everyone's parents love me.
I seem so innocent
little do they know

11:07pmMike
that's what my one friend also said

11:08pmJack
well were he/she right?

11:08pmMike
until they slipped up
they're six feet under now
in another country

11:17pmJack
nick kaplan probably wouldn't want you to call him dead

11:18pmMike
where you creeping through my facebook feeds
to see which of my friends went to another country

11:18pmJack
no, i knew that prior

11:18pmMike
when

11:18pmJack
i dunno like a month ago
people you frequently interact with on facebook show up in your feed a lot
you show up in my feed a lot

11:19pmMike
YOU WERE CREEPIN
IN MY PAGES

11:20pmJack
that's patently ridiculous

Untitled

Was it love
in Romeo and Juliet
when he made a toast to the afterlife
and she penetrated her heart,
finally bringing them together
in a crimson wedding

Was it love
when Achilles fell to his knees
to longingly cradle the lifeless form
of Patroclus.
To swear revenge against the
shining helm of Hector

Was it love
or
Was it violence

Jack is an Angry Person Part 1

Angry. Right now I am angry. The kind of irreconcilable anger that bursts from your body, staining your mind. The kind of anger that will let both your common sense and sense of decency look the other way for a few minutes. It is the anger of futility, of realizing that a situation is much worse than you originally thought.

A few things that have recently come to my attention in quick succession are the cause.

Number one. I would like to direct your attention to some superbowl commercials. First, an advocacy ad for "Focus on the Family" a prolife group.

http://watching-tv.ew.com/2010/02/07/tim-tebow-super-bowl-ad/

This year the superbowl advertising committee (or what have you) has decided to make its "no advocacy" commercial rule more lenient, allowing the previous commercial to air. Here, then, is a second commercial that has been denied the chance to air...

http://www.thrfeed.com/2010/01/cbs-should-accept-gay-dating-site-ad.html

I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure how to word it. Here goes:
First of all, both of these commercials are pretty bad in an advertising sense. Particularly the Focus on the Family one, as it basically gives you no idea what they're trying to "sell" to you. I looked up this Focus on the Family group and it turns out they advocate a lot more than just a prolife message. Let me explain via wikipedia.

In the same letter Dobson explains that traditional marriage is the cornerstone of society, and he states that the goal of the gay and lesbian movement is not to redefine marriage but to destroy the institution itself. “Most gays and lesbians do not want to marry each other…the intention here is to destroy marriage altogether.” Dobson makes the argument that without the institution of marriage everyone would enjoy the benefits of marriage without limiting the number of partners or their gender. Focus on the Family sees allowing same-sex marriage as “…a stepping-stone on the road to eliminating all societal restrictions and on marriage and sexuality.” -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focus_on_the_Family

It just seems odd that they'd let an advocacy group that supports "traditional family values" run an ad, and then deny a goofy and over-the-top one from a gay dating site. I understand there's limited space and all for the time slots, but from what the previous link says, that doesn't seem to be the case (and they had more than enough $). Also, the fact that the commercial might be too "risque'" doesn't hold any salt. Here's a double-entendre filled Go Daddy advert with Danica Patrick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSFSesCsDNM

I'm going to return to my homework, but don't worry, this is just part #1.

Another Conversation

9:34pmJack

party

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:34pm Mike

take that shit somewhere else

9:34pmJack

what i can't hear you

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

the music is too loud

9:34pm Mike

TURN DOWN THAT SHIT

RIGHT NOW

9:34pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

WHAT

oontzo

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:35pm Mike

YOU GONNA GET A GLOCK UP IN YO FACE

9:35pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:35pm Mike

I AIN'T AFRAID TO TAKE A MAN'S LIFE

9:35pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

A MUSTACHE IN MY PLACE?

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:36pm Mike

MASHED POTATOES

9:36pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:36pmMike

IM GONNA CALL FINNY-CENT

TO ICE YO ASS

9:36pmJack

SMASHED TOMATOES?

9:36pmMike

OUTSIDE

9:37pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

YEAH OKAY I;LL SEE YOU ON THE FLIPSIDE TOO

Mike

RALPH MACCIO

9:37pmJack

*turns off music

what about Ralph Maccio?

the most ubiquitous sort of bracken

(unfortunately my lettering and spacing hasn't been preserved in the html format)


filth falls slowly
from your mouth
taking days
years
to reach the ground
triumphant with
a well kept smirk
hiding quietly
we recoil
not just from words
but the death you quickly grant
to the
low

hanging



fruit

already heavy with juice
from the dark
saccharine nutrients
your soil so readily provides
venomous tendrils firmly planted
curled closely, protecting
suffocating
your malicious
saplings

In my latin american lit book

I really rather like this Native American folk song, appropriately titled

"Song"

Prince
Because you're a star
yes
you shine at night
yes
under the sun's fire
yes
I'll never see you
yes

Princess
If I'm a star
no
open your heart
no
and under the sun's fire
no
half-close your eyes
no

Prince
You seem to recall
yes
only in moonlight
yes
and when I come near
yes
you change into snow
yes

Princess
If I seem to call
no
please come quickly
no
if I change into snow
no
toss me your fire
no

Prince
When my fire burns you
yes
you change into dew
yes
are you the wind
yes
or are you a dream
yes

Princess
If you think I am dew
no
bring your lips near
no
though I may be a dream
no
don't ever lose me
no

What not to do with your Children

A) Do not use your children as free weights. This is a BAD idea. The '90s were full of bad ideas: boy bands, fanny packs, and now this.

In other news, Sam and I are working on our combination Arnold Schwarzenegger/ Christopher Walken impression.

The best way to describe it is to say "Hasta la vista, baby" in halting Walkenese. If you manage this first step you are on the right path.

Personal news: Rush is finally coming to a close, which means I will have a lot more time to relax and concentrate on my research. Not to mention all of the catching up I have to do with reading assignments... The rest of the school week will be really stressful so I'm definitely looking forward to the weekend as a respite from some anxiety. But then that brings up an important question, what am I going to do this weekend - relax and unwind, or catch up on my reading? A decision for another time - now I need to stop procrastinating and finish this last part of my homework for tomorrow.

Conversations we have

(via text messages)

Mike Petrie: [person 1] has reverted to bolting the door again.
Me: How's that working out for you?
Mike: All of the furniture is gone.
Me: Lol now where is [person 2] going to sit?
Mike: [person 1] called it divine retribution - he said that god hates furniture because it makes us lazy and not proclaim the good will to others
Me: And he's damn right, too. Chairs are one of the main tools of the devil.
Mike: Cursed upholstery.


(in person)

Me: Kyle are you going to laser tag (motions guns) and . . . (I forget what I'm saying) skyline chili?
Derek: Yeaaah Kyle, we never see you anymore.
Kyle: Nah, I've got a lot of homework to do tonight.
Me: We've all got homework.
Kyle: I've got a lot to make up from when I was sick, I have to . . . (talks about stuff he has to do)
Me: Well, maybe you shouldn't have gotten food poisoning.
Kyle: Oh yeah, that's . . . that's really funny, thanks. Now I'm definitely not going.

Abrasive

So home has been fun so far. Christmas break is certainly going by a lot faster than it was last year, although I think I finished my finals in the first week last time. My family is awesome to hang out with, even though they occasionally get on my nerves. Now that we're all older, I just chalk it up to differences in personality. I mean...for instance, if I wasn't related to my older sister I think we'd be even better friends. The fact that we're related gives us a chance to vent at each other once in awhile which can cause disagreements.

I've been pretty decent lately.

I know I don't write in here too often, but it's not because of a lack of interest. I find writing very cathartic, but at the same time it's very difficult to start a post. Lots of times I'll have a complex idea I've been thinking about and mulling over, but I have no way of putting it into words - and in the process end up writing nothing.

I've been thinking a bit lately about what age means to me. People always say that your teenage years are your formative years, generally in the 13-17 range, but I think a lot of that is bull. I mean, you certainly start to discover things about yourself at that age, but no one I know who is my age has everything figured out. When I was younger I always thought that 19-20 year old people were supposed to already be adults, but that seems to be far from the truth.

I know I still have a lot to learn about myself, and the problem is that I'm not sure I'll be able to do it where I am right now. I'm not really sure that Case is the right place for me. In some ways we're a great fit: academically, in some ways socially... I have a lot of similar interests that the general student body has...

But then I'm also sick of a bunch of things. I'm sick of people passing judgment on me, both academically and socially. No, I haven't yet been published in a damn scientific magazine, but I am in a really cool research group that lets me head my own projects with assistance. And despite so many peoples' "apparent concern" for my academic life I managed to earn 5 A marks and 1 B mark, grades that I'm very happy with. One thing that pisses me off is when people ask about how my homework is going, no one generally asks out of real concern, it's out of jealousy (often because I appear to be finished). Not that anyone actually needs to ask me how my homework is going, I'd be perfectly happy never talking to my friends about school. I was already sick of competing academically in grade school, and just because you think you're hot stuff doesn't mean I want to talk to you about how great you did on all your tests. But once in a while I'll play the game if asked how I did on something. Additionally, I'm sick of all the hate anyone but pre-med students and engineers receive. It's absolutely ridiculous. People are allowed to study whatever they want and they don't need your two cents worth of input.
People here tend to be competitive, cutthroat - and all too often my general easygoing nature is confused with naivete, lazyness, or stupidity. Additionally, just because I don't constantly reference my personal skills doesn't mean I lack them.
Socially, a lot of the student body seems to be scared of new things. People rarely want to go out on weekends, meet new people, etc.
A lot of these traits I'm naming aren't necessarily bad - they tend to create very small and tightly-knit groups. But I personally don't think that's really what I want. Now is the time to meet new people, not the time to stagnate. But that's just my worthless two cents.

In addition, this isn't directed towards anyone in particular, it's mostly just a spiteful and inconsistent rant. In regards to any boasting that went on, it' s lashing out at feeling intellectually devalued for a year and a half and I apologize for nothing that I wrote.

I've occasionally been told, especially by my mom, that I can be abrasively straightforward. She never says it in a mean way, and I know that in some ways she's right. But for me personally, it happens to be the best way to deal with many situations.

Jack's Chai Tea Recipe

My mom called me today during an SI session and wanted to know if I could come home tonight. I had forgotten that I was supposed to go to a doctor's appointment in the morning and she thought it would be easier if my dad came to get me tonight. While getting my stuff ready to go, I threw in a chai tea bag with my stuff. There's something mellowing about chai . . .

Anyways, here's my recipe for chai tea (a work in progress):
Oh and as a side note, I just kinda rough-hand most of my measurements.

1) In a big mug, add around 8 floz of boiling water on top of a chai tea bag. Let it steep for 3-5 minutes depending on personal preference.
2) Remove tea bag and add 1 tbsp. honey, mixing until fully disolved
3) Add around 1 1/2 tbsp. of a cinnamon-sugar mixture (that is 50-50 cinnamon and sugar) and stir
4) While stirring, add in a splash of vanilla extract to taste
5) add around 1/3 of a cup of milk (skim, whole, etc.), generally the more fattening, the better it tastes
6) optional: you could try adding nutmeg or cardamom to taste, although I haven't tried this out yet
7) Enjoy.

Have a good one, folks.

This is a great recipe for chicken picatta

During the summer, when I have more time (and all of the utensils I actually need to make a meal)I enjoy cooking. This recipe is one I saved from this summer for chicken picatta, and it turned out pretty well if I do say so myself. A note on the capers- I think they add a lot of flavor to the dish, but they aren't by any means necessary. They're also kind of expensive and don't have too many uses in the stuff I make, but if you have them available I'd use them. Also, you should try using the plastic wrap like it suggests, but know that most meat tenderizers will rip right through them after a few whacks and you may have to change the wrap before you get the right thickness. Now I'm hungry . . .

In this low-carbohydrate dish, two simple ingredients, garlic and lemon, combine for a bold flavor.
Ingredients:

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (4 ounces each)

2 teaspoons olive oil

1 teaspoon butter

2 cloves garlic, minced

3/4 cup fat-free reduced-sodium chicken broth

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

2 tablespoons chopped Italian parsley

1 tablespoon drained capers

Preparation:

1.

Combine flour, salt and pepper in shallow pie plate. Reserve 1 tablespoon of flour mixture.

2.

Place chicken between sheets of plastic wrap. Using flat side of meat mallet or rolling pin, pound chicken to 1/2-inch thickness. Coat chicken in flour mixture, shaking off excess.

3.

Heat oil and butter in large nonstick skillet over medium heat until butter is melted. Cook chicken 4 to 5 minutes per side or until no longer pink in center. Transfer to serving platter and cover loosely with foil.

4.

Add garlic to same skillet; cook and stir over medium heat 1 minute. Add reserved flour mixture; cook and stir 1 minute. Add broth and lemon juice; cook 2 minutes, stirring frequently, until sauce thickens. Stir in parsley and capers; spoon sauce over chicken.

To Be a Renaissance Man

My mind has been buzzing lately. Important but currently unanswerable questions have been lingering at the edges: What am I going to do for a living? What do I really want to have as my career? Is it time to distance myself from people I don't really like, the wheat from the chaff? Why does it always seem like I don't know anything? The answer to the last one is simple, at least. I don't know anything. There's just too much information in the world. There's so much information, I just want to absorb it.

Not the first time these thoughts have crossed my mind, of course.

More and more I just want to get up and leave - go somewhere I've never been before with no friendly faces to greet me. More and more I don't care about the answers to the career-related questions, they seem so trivial . . . Many people believe in heaven, reincarnation, something that makes it feel like what they're currently doing isn't completely useless in the end-run. I am unfortunately not one of these people, although sometimes I wish I were. From my perspective, I've only got one shot at this whole life thing - I'm not going to come back to Earth to try again or live in a plane where I can do anything my heart desires. I've been contemplating traveling for a while now, seeing what everything in the world is about from my own perspective. I think I'd definitely benefit from traveling, but the costs seem to put me out of range for most of it. I want to know things, mostly for my own personal benefit. I want to learn how to juggle, to understand how to buy an Italian suit, write books, learn how to cook and bake really well, be completely fluent in Spanish, sew clothes and people back together . . . there's just so much to learn.

And that's why I've decided to make this blog a chronicle of my pursuit of knowledge - All I Need to Know. Hopefully in the future these small and random pieces of knowledge will help me answer the large and concrete questions I will eventually have to answer.

Amazing Sand Painting

A friend of mine sent this to me, and it's beautiful.

Is using a Minotaur to chase detainees in a labyrinth torture?

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/is_using_a_minotaur_to_gore

The Episode with The Clarks and Crazy Drunk People

To be completely honest, I haven't been to many concerts in my life. I really like music, but I never really get the urge to go and see people perform live. People that know me well know that I love trying new things, so when my friend asked me to go see The Clarks (and band that up until then I had never heard of) I of course said yes. Assuring me that he would get me some of their music before we left so that I could get a feel for it, he finally fulfilled his promise by playing parts of a few of their songs on the bus ride to the concert at the Grog Shop. The Grog Shop is a local bar/concert center and a bunch of indie and upcoming bands stop by on their way through Cleveland. As I soon learned, The Clarks are a regional band located mostly in the Pittsburgh PA area. This was reinforced when a chant for the Steelers was rallied in between a few songs. But now I'm getting ahead of myself. My friend and I actually made it there on time (new record) but we were a bit too early. We ended up waiting around for an hour and a half before their opening band even started. The opening band, Colin Gawel & The Lonely Bones was . . . decent. Their lead singer, who I assume is the titular "Colin Gawel" had a voice that cleaved my brain in twain. It was fine for a few songs, but in their approximately 12 song track list his voice turned into a weapon of my demise - both piercing and high. I was glad when The Clarks finally took the stage to much applause from the crowd. I actually liked them a good deal and a few of their songs were great. The songs I knew the words to (about 2 of 26+) were covers of Beatles' songs, and I think they did a pretty great job. While all of this music was playing, there were two incredibly drunk women who kept on getting in everyone's way. One woman was completely smashed, she pushed her way to the front of the crowd near the stage and just kept reaching for the lead singer. At one point she managed to creepily touch his hair when he leaned down to pick up something. She then proceeded to sit down/pass out on the ground and some of the guys in the bar tried to remove her from the main group. She latched herself onto one really drunk guy and just kept grabbing him and trying to get his attention by reaching over me to poke him in the back. This man, also completely drunk and wearing matching argyle sweaters with his (he told us) wife then attempted to give us advice on how to pick up girls (in so many words). We were the perfect distance from him to be in the splash zone of the "spit when I talk drunk" phase. Turning back from his wife, he then told us that his wife thought he was scaring us. Wiping the spit from my face I told him that we weren't that easily scared. He then proceeded to talk to us about "cougars" and other random shit I don't remember because I eventually started to annoy him. At one point near the end of the concert he just kept trying to get my attention when I was ignoring him and I finally just kind of yelled "What?!" through the loud music. He said something along the lines of "you should go for it", referencing the incredibly drunk woman he had helped before and kept telling us we should try to get with. I think I probably just rolled my eyes at that point. Other highlights include a woman dropping a Pabst Blue Ribbon on the ground that exploded onto my back (how?) and legs, and also another drunk middle-aged woman who started trying to grind with me while I didn't have any means of escape. I think that if I learned anything from all of this it's a) I still really like to try things because they make great stories and b) never wear matching clothing with your significant other.

Jack out

Things I learned from video games #1: Don't let Kanye choose your pokemon

Oh Kanye, the man who calls himself the voice of our generation. I hate him. Out of all personal traits, having too high an opinion of oneself is the least attractive to me. And Kanye doesn't just have an ego, he has a damn god complex. With quality quotes such as, "George Bush doesn't care about black people," "If I'm not the voice of this generation, who is?" and this recent stupid Taylor Swift thing I can't stand him. Granted, most of these are at least partially publicity stunts, I'm aware of that. Kanye is a incredibly shrewd businessman and he knows what he needs to do to get attention. Insult one of the most popular tween stars during her moment of glory? Touche'. But honestly, if he's"the voice of our generation" someone get me a revolver so I can end myself now.

http://kotaku.com/5360328/oh-kanye-youre-so-opinionated

Fallout 3, Blazblue, and Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia

I finally went back and took the time to finish Order of Ecclesia, and while the game was certainly fun, I was a tad disappointed at times. The game pidgeonholes the players into using a few glyphs (the magical mode of attacking in the game) if they wish to proceed in the game. What's that, you like rapiers more than scythes? Well you can use your rapiers as long as you don't mind also doing half as much damage. It's a shame they didn't let the player power up weapons the more often the used them, which was a system implemented for the sub-weapons in Castlevania: Portrait of Sorrow. Overall, good game but a little repetitive.

Blazblue was exactly what I hoped it to be. It's an amazingly immersive 2D fighting game with serious chops for style. Although it's 12-character roster does feel a little cramped at times, I have no real qualms because each and every character plays differently. Each and every character. There's not much more to say about Blazblue. If you're looking for a fighting game to play, this is the one you should get.


I'm about 15-20 hours into Fallout 3, and....I'm still not sure how I feel about it. The idea of the setting is amazing. A Post-apocalyptic world with a 1950s flair. Bioshock did an amazing job with a similar setting by blending 1950s art deco, music, and environment with a sinister and cool genetic thread. Fallout 3 has the music and some of the art down, but the environment...well...it looks post-apocalyptic. When exploring I'm mostly covering large expanses of dirt and sand. Sometimes I'll see a city in the distance and I'll decide to investigate. Oh there are raiders in the city. Nothing else? No? Alright back to the dirt and sand then. Besides that, the whole DC area is a shambles. To get from one area to another you have to go through a bunch of different subway systems, but they all look very similar. I feel like I would enjoy this game a lot more if I didn't spend as much time playing it. A strange notion at first, but hear me out. I feel like I've exhausted the environment. What was meant to be exciting and new when you passed it during the main quest becomes bland and repetitive after passing it 20 times during sidequests. I can see that in some of the DLC expansion packs they add onto the setting, with a swamp setting and a more futuristic setting. Right now? No more sand.

School and other things

So school is starting pretty soon. Monday in fact. I'm happy to go back and see all my friends, but the departure is always bittersweet. I'll miss the time after summer classes ended where I had nothing to do. Now, suddenly, I can feel the crush of homework and responsibility again. I guess this means no more narrow escapes from the police, playing cards in tents on roofs, going to IHOP at 5 in the morning, and everything else I now associate with summer. It also means I have to finalize my classes, get CITI certified for my research group, move all my shit, buy new books, etc. Unfortunately, school worries are just compounded by personal ones. Once I'm back in school I'll be happier, but just because I forget about some of my problems doesn't mean they'll go away.

How to create a ghost

Clink on the link if you're curious. Basically a small group of people created the history for a ghost, which then proceeded to haunt them. Do I believe in ghosts? No. Is this interesting? Incredibly.