Is using a Minotaur to chase detainees in a labyrinth torture?

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/is_using_a_minotaur_to_gore

The Episode with The Clarks and Crazy Drunk People

To be completely honest, I haven't been to many concerts in my life. I really like music, but I never really get the urge to go and see people perform live. People that know me well know that I love trying new things, so when my friend asked me to go see The Clarks (and band that up until then I had never heard of) I of course said yes. Assuring me that he would get me some of their music before we left so that I could get a feel for it, he finally fulfilled his promise by playing parts of a few of their songs on the bus ride to the concert at the Grog Shop. The Grog Shop is a local bar/concert center and a bunch of indie and upcoming bands stop by on their way through Cleveland. As I soon learned, The Clarks are a regional band located mostly in the Pittsburgh PA area. This was reinforced when a chant for the Steelers was rallied in between a few songs. But now I'm getting ahead of myself. My friend and I actually made it there on time (new record) but we were a bit too early. We ended up waiting around for an hour and a half before their opening band even started. The opening band, Colin Gawel & The Lonely Bones was . . . decent. Their lead singer, who I assume is the titular "Colin Gawel" had a voice that cleaved my brain in twain. It was fine for a few songs, but in their approximately 12 song track list his voice turned into a weapon of my demise - both piercing and high. I was glad when The Clarks finally took the stage to much applause from the crowd. I actually liked them a good deal and a few of their songs were great. The songs I knew the words to (about 2 of 26+) were covers of Beatles' songs, and I think they did a pretty great job. While all of this music was playing, there were two incredibly drunk women who kept on getting in everyone's way. One woman was completely smashed, she pushed her way to the front of the crowd near the stage and just kept reaching for the lead singer. At one point she managed to creepily touch his hair when he leaned down to pick up something. She then proceeded to sit down/pass out on the ground and some of the guys in the bar tried to remove her from the main group. She latched herself onto one really drunk guy and just kept grabbing him and trying to get his attention by reaching over me to poke him in the back. This man, also completely drunk and wearing matching argyle sweaters with his (he told us) wife then attempted to give us advice on how to pick up girls (in so many words). We were the perfect distance from him to be in the splash zone of the "spit when I talk drunk" phase. Turning back from his wife, he then told us that his wife thought he was scaring us. Wiping the spit from my face I told him that we weren't that easily scared. He then proceeded to talk to us about "cougars" and other random shit I don't remember because I eventually started to annoy him. At one point near the end of the concert he just kept trying to get my attention when I was ignoring him and I finally just kind of yelled "What?!" through the loud music. He said something along the lines of "you should go for it", referencing the incredibly drunk woman he had helped before and kept telling us we should try to get with. I think I probably just rolled my eyes at that point. Other highlights include a woman dropping a Pabst Blue Ribbon on the ground that exploded onto my back (how?) and legs, and also another drunk middle-aged woman who started trying to grind with me while I didn't have any means of escape. I think that if I learned anything from all of this it's a) I still really like to try things because they make great stories and b) never wear matching clothing with your significant other.

Jack out