Not Jimmy Buffet

Sam:
ah, i just finished the red hot chilli peppers playlist for about the 10th time since finals started
what should i listen too now?

Me:
is 'not jimmy buffett' an option?

Sam:
[glare]

Me:
lol i know that face

A Gift for my Dad

3:14amJack

I'm going home for my dad's birthday on sunday

i still need to get him something...

also thesehttp://kotaku.com/5502464/street-fighter-zombies-zombie-street-fighters/gallery/ (pictures of zombie street fighter characters)

3:14amMike

UWT

WUT*

those are pretty disturbing

blanka looks like a licker from resident evil

3:15amJack

haha yeah he does now that you mention it

3:15amMike

you should buy your dad a waffle maker

everyone loves waffles

3:15amJack

DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?

3:16amMike

most of the time

3:16amJack

:(

3:16amMike

when they have the mix

which is never

3:16amJack

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDU0CTDMk2g (do you like waffles? music video)

3:16amMike

what do you guys usually get your dad

lol I remember this now

3:17amJack

lol if you scroll down on my page you'll my sisters and i talking about it

3:17amMike

oh yeah

I read that earlier

your sister said your dad likes protein

3:17amJack

hahaha yeah

i don't know what she's talking about

3:18amMike

like for body building?

3:18amJack

she said i would understand if i lived there

the idea of my dad bodybuilding makes me lol

3:18amMike

he probably busts out the bench press when you aren't home

3:19amJack

he probably does. he's secretly a world warrior

3:19amMike

lol

what do you guys get your dad for christmas

3:20amJack

uhh. what did we get him. something from all of us maybe? i don't know, he doesn't really have any hobbies. We'll get him books but he won't read them, we'll get him clothes but he won't wear them, we'll buy him CDs but he won't listen to them

3:21amMike

lol

my dad is usually clothes

that's about it

maybe your dad would like some manngas

some tankoubons

does he watch anything on tv like a series?

3:22amJack

wtf is a tankobon? is that a collection of manga?

3:22amMike

nihongo for japanese

manga

3:23amJack

no not really. i mean he watches TV but not like a specific show i don't think. I once got him episodes of the three stooges. he liked that

3:23amMike

does he like guns

weapons are the gift that keep on giving

3:23amJack

haha no

3:23amMike

they can always be practical

3:24amJack

maybe a flail

he doesn't have a flail

3:24amMike

+ shield

3:24amJack

+Mike petrie do you want to play DnD with Sam Roberts, Derek and I? I'm DMing, but I'd like to have at least 3 people. I'd be once a week, and it's steampunk pirate based

3:25amMike

what is your dad about, does he do anything outside?

maybe

3:25amJack

he rakes leaves

and cuts the grass

general lawn management

things

3:25amMike

does he need a new rake

3:25amJack

haha i don't think so

3:25amMike

maybe you guys can get him a really nice rake

made from japanese steel

3:25amJack

ohhhhhhh

watashi wa

3:25amMike

deskkkaaa

eeee ooo

3:25amJack

"japanese steelu" desu

hikarimasen

3:26amMike

but honestly dads are always hard to buy stuff for

did your mom give you guys any ideas?

3:26amJack

yeah, she suggested I get him a case hoodie

he'd probably like it, it's a pretty good idea

3:27amMike

yea I think my mom told my brother to get one for my dad awhile back

I googled gifts for dad

and got a whole lotta nothing

3:28amJack

i could get him a ball of yarn

oh wait that's cats

3:28amMike

lol

this was one of the links

http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/dads/

they are all mostly bad

3:29amJack

'Swedish FireSteel'? Whattttt

3:29amMike

http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/dads/a33b/ (hand strengthener machine)

this is practical

3:31amJack

I just read the description

that's certainly something

it is A thing that could 'technically' be purchased

3:31amMike

http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/dads/a67f/ (indiana jones' hat)

maybe he wants to be indiana jones

3:33amJack

that's handy. he's been meaning to go spelunking for awhile now

3:33amMike

lol

http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/dads/8193/

HOLY SHIT

VIRTUAL KEYBOARD

3:34amJack

that is actually really really cool

but it think it's really really cool in a mike petrie and jack brady kind of way, not so much a j. kirk brady kind of way

3:35amMike

your right

he wants the hat

3:35amJack

I wonder if they send you a treasure map when you order two

Derailed Road Trip Conversation

10:53pmJack
wow
you already promised you would go

10:54pmMike
no I didn't
my mom probably wouldn't let me

10:54pmJack
remember?

10:54pmMike
I don't make promises
I BREAK THEM

10:54pmJack
you said "I will definitely go on this trip no matter what"
your mother loves me
she would totally let you go

10:58pmMike
she has never met you
probably thinks you are a trouble maker
who would rob the shoes off of my feet if given the chance

10:59pmJack
I think I may have actually met her once when she was helping you move stuff in?
regardless she knows OF me

10:59pmMike
maybe
how do you know I ever say anything about you
I could suppress info

11:00pmJack
my parents ask me questions about you sometimes

11:00pmMike
like if I roll drugs

11:00pmJack
they'll be like "so do you still see Mike Petrie a lot?"

11:00pmMike
get arrested

11:00pmJack
boring stuff like that
and I'll be like
yeah we snort crack every weekend together
and they'll be like "i knew he was a troublemaker"

11:01pmMike
pile as high as the ceiling

11:04pmMike
I told my parents that you don't speak english
and that you are a columbian drug lord
selling to students

11:04pmJack
soy un mercandero de drogas

11:05pmMike
then they don't ask about you

11:06pmJack
i bet your parents love me. Everyone's parents love me.
I seem so innocent
little do they know

11:07pmMike
that's what my one friend also said

11:08pmJack
well were he/she right?

11:08pmMike
until they slipped up
they're six feet under now
in another country

11:17pmJack
nick kaplan probably wouldn't want you to call him dead

11:18pmMike
where you creeping through my facebook feeds
to see which of my friends went to another country

11:18pmJack
no, i knew that prior

11:18pmMike
when

11:18pmJack
i dunno like a month ago
people you frequently interact with on facebook show up in your feed a lot
you show up in my feed a lot

11:19pmMike
YOU WERE CREEPIN
IN MY PAGES

11:20pmJack
that's patently ridiculous

Another Conversation

9:34pmJack

party

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:34pm Mike

take that shit somewhere else

9:34pmJack

what i can't hear you

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

the music is too loud

9:34pm Mike

TURN DOWN THAT SHIT

RIGHT NOW

9:34pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

WHAT

oontzo

oontz

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:35pm Mike

YOU GONNA GET A GLOCK UP IN YO FACE

9:35pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:35pm Mike

I AIN'T AFRAID TO TAKE A MAN'S LIFE

9:35pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

A MUSTACHE IN MY PLACE?

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:36pm Mike

MASHED POTATOES

9:36pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

9:36pmMike

IM GONNA CALL FINNY-CENT

TO ICE YO ASS

9:36pmJack

SMASHED TOMATOES?

9:36pmMike

OUTSIDE

9:37pmJack

oontz

oontz

oontz

YEAH OKAY I;LL SEE YOU ON THE FLIPSIDE TOO

Mike

RALPH MACCIO

9:37pmJack

*turns off music

what about Ralph Maccio?

Conversations we have

(via text messages)

Mike Petrie: [person 1] has reverted to bolting the door again.
Me: How's that working out for you?
Mike: All of the furniture is gone.
Me: Lol now where is [person 2] going to sit?
Mike: [person 1] called it divine retribution - he said that god hates furniture because it makes us lazy and not proclaim the good will to others
Me: And he's damn right, too. Chairs are one of the main tools of the devil.
Mike: Cursed upholstery.


(in person)

Me: Kyle are you going to laser tag (motions guns) and . . . (I forget what I'm saying) skyline chili?
Derek: Yeaaah Kyle, we never see you anymore.
Kyle: Nah, I've got a lot of homework to do tonight.
Me: We've all got homework.
Kyle: I've got a lot to make up from when I was sick, I have to . . . (talks about stuff he has to do)
Me: Well, maybe you shouldn't have gotten food poisoning.
Kyle: Oh yeah, that's . . . that's really funny, thanks. Now I'm definitely not going.