Conversations we have

(via text messages)

Mike Petrie: [person 1] has reverted to bolting the door again.
Me: How's that working out for you?
Mike: All of the furniture is gone.
Me: Lol now where is [person 2] going to sit?
Mike: [person 1] called it divine retribution - he said that god hates furniture because it makes us lazy and not proclaim the good will to others
Me: And he's damn right, too. Chairs are one of the main tools of the devil.
Mike: Cursed upholstery.


(in person)

Me: Kyle are you going to laser tag (motions guns) and . . . (I forget what I'm saying) skyline chili?
Derek: Yeaaah Kyle, we never see you anymore.
Kyle: Nah, I've got a lot of homework to do tonight.
Me: We've all got homework.
Kyle: I've got a lot to make up from when I was sick, I have to . . . (talks about stuff he has to do)
Me: Well, maybe you shouldn't have gotten food poisoning.
Kyle: Oh yeah, that's . . . that's really funny, thanks. Now I'm definitely not going.